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VERONICA MORETTI NIEBUHR |
I realize it has been quite a long while since I have posted here.
I have been going through a lot since the Spring, personal and artistic burn-out.
Combined with the abrupt departure of one of my teachers-personal issues kept her from completing the last 4 weeks and the news that my long time teacher and friend Ms. Jil would be moving this fall and the overall lack of motivation among my students sent me into a period of questioning whether or not I would continue to do this.
Our Spring performance went very well though-it was in fact good-a rare moment when I actually feel as though I like what I’ve done. I chose Carmina Burana-interesting, challenging and not what the audience expects. I like that. It just so happened that there was a tornado that day-so we didn’t have the biggest audience and was actually lucky I had all of my dancers! Then 2 days later they all went off to their summer programs and I know they were as tired as I was.
So most of my summer has been spent with my family and throwing myself into DIY projects around my house.
My personal strength and faith in myself was totally gone-probably a couple of months before the show. This is not typical of me-I am everyone’s rock-but this time literally everything in my life was falling down around me. And so when I think it can’t get worse, I have a huge flare up with my rheumetoid arthritis. And right down at the bottom I am-and I remember that the RA was the reason I started dancing. Life is full of ups and downs, but you have to keep moving or you’ll stop. And so in realizing that-I will make it through everything. I also realize that teaching is a lot harder than being a dancer. Your students do not realize how much of yourself you give to them. So I decided to take class all summer with the kids and give in a different way and get some of myself back. Then there it is, that joy, I remember why I do this.
Enzo and Sofi, sunrise on Tybee-finding their inner dancer.
